But, if you’ve been in a romantic relationship with several partners before, you know what we’re talking about. Sometimes, the spark dies off, and to think that your mind, body, and soul should forever belong to one person is difficult for some people.

You say that you plan to meet up with this guy whether or not your boyfriend consents to it. So really, framing this conversation as “asking” him for an open relationship would just add another layer of deceit to the whole situation. You’re not actually interested in gauging your boyfriend’s feelings about an open relationship; at this source https://foreignbridesguru.com/dating-chinese-girl/ you’re interested in having sex with someone else regardless of how he feels about it. You should not present this to your boyfriend as something he has a say in when you’ve already decided he doesn’t.

This could be an intellectual, emotional or sexual attachment to someone other than your partner – and it could be sporadic or more or less ongoing. Once you’ve established that that isn’t what’s going on here, consider what you hope to get out of opening things up. Maybe you want to try something new that your partner doesn’t, sexually or otherwise. Maybe you’re starting to feel like monogamy just isn’t a fit for you.

  • When you have your discussion about sexual boundaries, make sure you discuss what emotional boundaries you need to set as well.
  • Being honest with yourself and your partner could save you time and heartache in the future, or open the door to a new level of fulfillment.
  • If you know things are really over, then break up with your former relationship completely and take a moment to catch your breath before plunging into a poly relationship.

In her free time, she enjoys chasing sunsets, playing video games, spending time in nature, swimming in a sea of CBD salve, trying different therapy practices, and working on her passion projectHighly Untamed. Connect with Morgan onTwitterandInstagramor visit her websitehereto learn more. One of your best resources will be other people and couples who’ve found a version of non-monogamy that works for them.


There are also, of course, many great articles online and websites you can read on the subject. Do research and gain a basic knowledge of non-monogamy and non-traditional relationships.

When Your Partner Wants Non-Monogamy and You Don’t

It may help to write it down, then put it aside for a day or so and look at it with fresh eyes to see if this is the right approach. Some people will feel insecure when asked about an open relationship, and others may be willing to explore it, but only under certain conditions.

Images of Queer Joy at The Advocate’s People of the Year Party

“Jealousy, like all emotions, contains valuable information about something we need to heal from or some need that’s not being met,” Dr. Pitagora explains. The reality of a newly open relationship is that it might bring jealousy to the forefront, but ultimately this can give partners an opportunity to reflect.

Control your external jealousy triggers by agreeing to rules and boundaries about what you and your partner will or won’t do with others. I’m in a monogamous long-term relationship with my wonderful partner, and we’re very happy together.

Should you actively or passively explore new relationships? If you discuss the nitty gritty stuff at the beginning of the relationship, you ensure that you and your partner are on the same page, which is really important! Even though you are opening your relationship up, this person is still your main person, and you want to make sure that they’re respected and excited about this new aspect of your relationship. These parameters can of course change over time, but starting off with some ground rules is always a good idea.